Fear

I was baffled.An emotion rarely visited when you've committed gluttony (in order to do some paisa vasool from the overpriced buffet you had at Taj).Anisha,my older sister rarely ever rides her scooty at 30kmph on a chilled winter night at emtpty roads of Pune after 10 p.m. When I took courage to open my clenched jaw and speak to her she gave no response in another attempt she responded in a tone suggesting 'all's well'. For the sake of paisa vasool she too had stuffed herself. Post dinner she'd spent good time in the loo but still looking at her one could figure out that she's either constipated or nauseated or she may faint or burst anytime soon. However an unresponsive rider and a paranoid pillion rider didn't match well.I offered myself to ride, to halt if she wished to throw up but her response was negative.For a moment I could sense her scooty moving towards the footpath, to my eyes it was true and within a flash of second it was all blood and bruises, scratches and screeches. I get up from the grass beside the footpath to see the vehicle lying there dead with it's rear view mirror shattered, crying my sister's name only to find her unconscious and lightly bruised on hands.She's alive but not responsive.Flushed with fear and panic I cry out for help ,signal the cars passing by.

We stop at the red light and my imagination ceases. I start wondering how far are we from hostel in meantime I start rubbing her abdomen to comfort her.Since previous night's 'rattle tyre' episode I couldn't wait to be back to my room.The haunt keeps revisiting. What's been remarkable all throughout these days is that even when tomorrow when I'll sit behind her on scooty I'll imagine all these things again irrespective how she may have evolved to be a safer rider than before and I'll fail to acknowledge it.I'll imagine the consequences if she skids from the turn, trips on a wet road, or moves over the bump on an above average speed.All it appears to be is an eternal fear began since I fell from her cycle as a pillion rider 13 years back and fractured my leg.

You climb up 100 meters, the fear is of falling.Dive 100 meters, fear is of loosing out your breath.Enter a dark room, fear is of encountering a haunting image you saw in a horror flick.Lock yourself in a small room with no open spaces again fear is of  loosing out on breath or never escaping the room .

Thus what we fear is death . For all fear that exists is in the imagination or of approaching death and nothing else.